Life.

9/12/13

Tonight I watched Like Crazy. I have heard nothing but good things about this movie but never really got around to watching it.

You know, I think I can relate a lot to Anna in this movie. She experienced what love was. What true love is. Once it hit her she wasn't the same and I believe that it's not just a movie making it seem like that. I fell in love and let me tell you, it changed me. Because not only did I just love another person, but that person became my best friend, my rock, my happienss, he became a part of me. I let him into my life and into my heart that at that point no one else had experienced with me.

It will be a year that we aren't together in January. Is that still hard for me to believe? Yes, it really is. Because I had my heart set on being with this man. I really did think that he was the one and I don't know if I will ever get over that feeling or stop loving him. He was my first. My first everything and nothing can change that or the feelings that I felt with him.

But as the months continue to go on and the seasons change, I need to do the same. I deserve happiness in this life and I deserve to feel and have love again. Holding back and watching my life pass me by every day is not going to get me anywhere. This doesn't mean that any guy that walks my way is the one I'm gonna say I love. This is me saying that I need to open my heart again, as hard as that may be.

Because not only is love waiting for me but adventure, memories, happiness, joy, togetherness and life are waiting for me. It's time for me to go out and find this. It's time for me to allow my smile to shine and my heart to love and be big. It's time for all that pity party shit to be thrown out the back door.

I'm ready for what I've been waiting for.