finding that someone. actually just waiting.

Salve!
(hello in Italian. Like me!)
How are you doing coooool people? (:
I am going to blog something that my heart is aching.
Finding that, hmm, special someone.
Whew. Here we go!

Just a little back story on my "love life". I have been single for about two and a half years. My last relaetionship I was in, I thought that I was "in love." Weird, right? He cheated on me with my  best friend, I kept going back. I kept getting hurt. But, I thought we sincerely loved each other. I was hoping that maybe he would change or even just apologize. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be held. I "wanted" him in my life. I finally left him, for the final time! (Thank freaking goodness!)

After I left him, I realized that our relationship was sooo unhealthy! Of course, I was not a strong believer when I was dating him. First, he cheated on me. Obviously I didn't mean that much to him if he couldn't even be faithful. Second, he cheated on me with my best friend, at the time. Hmmm, does this mean something. I don't really know. I realized though, that I held to my morals. I wouldn't give into him, I didn't let mine and his temptations get to me. I kept my part of the relationship healthy, except that I never left. Until I had put up a very thick, strong, unhealthy brick wall. I blocked everyone out.

Now that I look back on this, I have learned a lot. The biggest thing that I have learned is that I cannot chase, look, seek, or try to find my husband. God has an amzaing guy for me that will love me until the ends of the earth. Of course, I am anxious and I can't wait to meet this man. But man, waiting can be hard. People always tell me, you have to look and try things to figure out who you want to be with. This always gets to me somehow. I start to believe it, realizing finally that I already know the truth.

God will bring me the man of my dreams. God will tell me which man I am supposed to be with. I have nothing to worry about. I have learned to put trust in God in this area. I have learned that waiting is all I can do. Waiting for my wonderful beloved God to bring me that man he destines me to be with. Yes, there are times when I see couples and I want that. But I think about how beautiful it will be to tell my husband that I waited for him. I didn't hand my heart out, so that I could hand it to him.

Man, oh man. I can't wait. I can't wait for God to just bring me my man. I have time, but whew. I'm excited. Thank you God for giving me strength.

I love you. So much. Be my beloved. Be my husband. Until you, not me. Until you are ready to give me to my husband. <3