pushing through the past.

Hello everyone! How are you all? You good? Good. I'm glad you're good! (:

I've been struggling this week. Not only this week, but the past few weeks. It's been a hassle, and it's really been bringing me down. It's taken me a long time to forgive myself and move on from my past, yet part of me still held onto all of it. Part of me wouldn't really let it go. It's been a weight resting upon my weak, weak shoulders.
I'm not gonna lie, one of my biggest downfalls and distractions would be guys and getting caught up in all of that. It seems to happen like this every time: I say I'm not going to talk to guys and get involved in ANY way. Then all of a sudden, three guys are trying to talk to me. What the heck!? It distracts me. I know I shouldn't be distracted as easily, but I am. I came to the conclusion, being distracted is my biggest weakness. I need to become strong in that area. That's my goal.

^{Psalm 46:1}

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
      always ready to help in times of trouble.

I absolutely LOVE the book of Psalm. It seems to always have the right things I need when I am going through a bunch of crap. This verse for example. Like I said, I have a major weakness that I need to work on. I have let the devil have control of this situation for way to long, and I need to change that. I need to know, and remind myself that God is my strenght. Whenever I feel weak, or I think I'm alone he is there and he will keep me strong. I need to stop relying on myself and look upon God. If I don't start to do that then I won't get anywhere. I will most likely fall even farther.

This is pretty much the start of my plan: Everytime I am feeling weak, everytime I'm not sure what to do or I'm lost and confused I will look upon God. No matter where I am, or what I'm doing. I will pray and ask God, I need strength. I need your strength. I need your help because I'm lost and I'm confused.

I'm tired of being distracted, I'm tired of not focusing as much on God, and I'm ready to change that.