Lately life has been stressing me out. I'm a senior in high school, so I am trying to figure out my future. I am currently in the position of a youth pastor, which I love, I just have no experience and it's hard to figure everything out. I'm trying to raise funds to get to Africa where my heart is on fire for. I have been rejected numerous times from modeling agencies, and my dream is to just model! There is probably 1209852740958 more things, but I am not here to complain about all of that. Nope. I'm here to talk about how God has really helped me and kept me strong through all of this.
Rejection was always my biggest fear. It was hard for me to take, and it really played a big part in my self esteem. It was something I struggled and still struggle with today. The more and more I got rejected from modeling agencies, my ideas got shot down, my parents told me no, all of that, as time went on and I get rejected it became a little easier to take. And instead of using rejection as an excuse to give up, I used it as an excuse to try even harder. For example, I just went to an open call a few weeks ago for a modeling agency. They didn't call me back and at first I was devastated. I cried and yelled at myself for days for not doing good enough. Until it hit me, I did as good as I could. I put all my effort into it, and it just didn't work. LIFE HAPPENS. Everything won't always work out for you. As soon as I came to this realization I searched agencies and began filling out applications for more open calls. I didn't give up. I let the rejection of the last open call to fuel me and ignite a fire of determination.
It's not only the modeling that I became determined about, but I just sent my Principal an e-mail telling her my heart and vision about Africa that I have. Asking her to allow me to sell bracelets to get to Africa, and doing anything in my power to try and help her see how important this is to me. I am also taking my youth on their first retreat in September. Through all the stress and chaos God really shed a light filled path for me, and has really been making things work.
I am beginning to learn that things will suck at times, and it will seem like they won't change or get better and that I feel like I'm destined for failure. But as soon as I turn to God he always makes things work together for my good. Romans 8:28. Such a reassurance to me. So just remember, we will fail at times, and we will be rejected, but in the end God has a reason for it and he has a better, even more magnificent plan for us.
Until next time. :)
Love it, Leah. I think you've got the right idea for sure - rejection should make us stronger, and help us direct our steps for the future, not be mad at ourselves or feel guilt for the past. Me, you, and Wes need to get together to talk youth ministry. I'm thinking of chaperones, by the way, I'll let you know when I have a couple good names.
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